Remembering Lost Love
by LoveShipper
Summary: Alex reminisces about the drama, love and the lost she experienced over the years with her happily ever after story to her little angel. Enjoy and review. Sorry it sucks.


Word from Collectively Untogether

May Mania, 2013:

Hi, guys, I am so excited to tell you about a project I'm am introducing. I really want to branch out to new fandoms and genres, and I thought there's no better way than uploading an immense amount of one-shots all in one day. My plan is to have you all vote on what fandoms I should do. Voting will be from now until March 31st. I will spend all of April writing one-shots and then upload 30-plus one-shots all on May 1st. Hence, May Mania. I'm hoping this will provide plenty of good material for you guys to enjoy for a while.

Here's how voting works. Just go to the poll up at the top of this page and vote for 5-10 fandoms you would like to read one-shots for from me. Any fandom that receives 2 or more votes is guaranteed a one-shot. The more votes, the more one-shots that fandom will have written for them to go up May 1st.

If you have any questions, suggestions, etc. feel free to PM me. During this event, all current chapter fics will be updated as normal.

I really hope you guys like this idea, let me know what you think!

-Collectively Untogether

Ok first of all, please be nice. This is my first attempt at angst mixed in with drama so sorry in advance if it sucks beyond reason. Give your thanks to NatalyeNicole for giving me this idea, I hope I give it justice and she loves or at least likes it.

i don't own anybody but Kuru and Alex's little angel.

Dear Diary

This is suppose to be the day that I and the love of my life will never ever forget. I mean it is not like Kuru and I haven't had our share of problems with the ignorant, selfish, "in no way can the rules be broken even if this is true love that we are dealing with" elders and some people in the village when we first started courting aka dating.

But what we experienced is beyond what i expected after not only marrying the man of my dreams, the guy I have loved since I was 16, but also getting pregnant with our little angel. But these last few months have been the most stressful of my life, I am surprised this pregnancy wasn't diagnosed as high risk but then again there isn't much doctors here in Manjipour.

Thank God it wasn't cause this little sweetheart is my last link to my beloved Kuru. I don't know what I would do if I had lost my child, my heart was already broken into little splinters of pain, sorrow and grief when I heard the news of Kuru's death and not have been able to kiss him one last time, tell him I love him and not be able to say a proper goodbye to someone who is my soulmate, my one true love and my husband.

If I had lost my child, my life would be O-V-E-R and I am not exaggerating. I would have been a shell of the person I used to be; happy, full of life, eager to make a change in the narrow-minded kingdom of Majipour (more on that topic later) and head over heels in love. I mean I had everything; a loving family, best friends who were like family to me and the man of my dreams who loved me just as much as I loved him.

The day I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed. It was the fourth time in my entire life when I was beyond overjoyed and estatic in my life, a point in my life when I couldn't stop smiling even if my face spilt in half, my heart felt like it could float out of my body cause it felt so light and fluttery and all around me I could hear bells ringing.

The first memorable moment was of course the day that Kuru and I finally confessed our love to the other after months of trying to deny our hearts; Kuru by hiding behind Manijipour rules of social standing (no one in the royal family mingles or interacts with anyone in the lower standing) and positions.

The poor dear was so scared of getting into major trouble with the council of elders, or as I like to call them "people who have nothing better to do then sit around dicating stupid rules and regulations that doesn't make sense in the 22nd century and if people don't do what you want then you think of harsh punishments) so he tried to hide his love under the pretense of best friends\servant.

I was not any better; I thought I was in love with that loser, wannabe man jerkwad Marcus. What I saw in him I will never know; I mean he didn't understand the importance of having friends of the seperate gender, I mean I had J.P who had been by best friend since grade 2 and who I considered a brother. He and I didn't mesh in personality, music seemed to be the only thing we had in common.

Marcus seem to have wanted a woman who was both beautiful and dumb enough to do whatever he wanted when he wanted, like hang on his arm like a darn trophy, so he could show off to his naive and empty headed football team who hung on his word and treated him like a God. That woman was not me.

I wanted a man who treated me like an equal, someone who had a brain of her own with her own thoughts, opinions and feelings and welcomes them. Someone who loves me for me, quirks and all, and doesn't want to change me for anything. He needs to loves me unconditionally and is someone I can not only see myself with for the rest of my life but who i enjoy spending time with. I found that in Kuru and I am forever thankful for Omar for choosing him to come to find me.

Kuru and I finally admitted our feelings, which everyone around us from my family and our friends had told us that we weren't exactly subtle when it came to our feelings for each other. It came to a head when while during a heart to heart talk about our families Kuru told me he was orphaned as a baby by his biological parents and was raised never really feeling like he belonged anywhere or to anyone.

His story touched my heart so much that without warning I leaned over and gave him a kiss, only pouring a small fraction of my love into it. Of course, Kuru did the adorable thing of trying to tell me that a relationship between us was wrong, how can true love ever be wrong? so of course I had to kiss him to convince him that I truly loved him and he should take a chance at our love.

During our courtship, we were so happy in love. i loved being able to call Kuru my boyfriend, being able to hug and kiss him whenever I wanted to and be able to express my undying love for him like calling him the endearments I had called him in my head for months before. Unfortunately the Elders weren't so pleased that I had chosen to fall and be with a "commoner", um hello 1) no one can choose who they fall in love with and 2) i may be a Princess by blood but I was raised by people who you would call commoners.

So I was forever being introduced to single princes from another counties in hopes that they would win me over so I would be with someone of my social standing. Nice try but it didn't have a prayer to work; 1) because I love Kuru too much to fall for just anyone, what part of Kuru is my soulmate don't these narrow minded, jerks understand?

2) those princes were the stereotypical snobs, vain, jerks, players, big ego, dumbies who openly admittted that they thought woman were well below then, a little bit up on the scale then servants. They also said that woman should be servants to their men, doing whatever they want whenever they want with no sass or back talk. Um no, welcome to the 22nd centruy where woman have as much right and value as men and should be treated like equals and people they are.

So of course I told those snobs what i thought of them, in detail and not holding anything back. I mean there was no way that I would give them the indication that I was at all interested in them, even though my eye rolling and constant sassiness should have given my intentions away. I needed to do whatever I could to get it ihrough their thick minds that they so didn't have a chance to change my heart towards Kuru.

So the Elders' pathetic attempts at spliting Kuru and I up failed, all they really did was bring Kuru and I closer as our love deepend and strengthened. Then when we were 20, Kuru proposed to me in a sweet, romantic and movie worthy moment; he had taken me to the most beautiful spot in the forest that overlooked a beautiful meadow of wildflowers and a gorgoeus sunset that could take anyone's breath away.

Kuru had leaned over, gently took my hands (I still remember how big, rough yet gentle his hands had been and still were) and said one of the most beautiful speeches ever. It had included him admitting that when we first met, he had thought I was one of the most beautiful and intriguing young woman he had ever met and that had made him eager to help me become the Princess of Manjipour.

Over the years, he had tried his hardest to just "stay friends" with me but each day he found he was falling even more in love with me. Somehow I had made it hard not to fall in love with me, the same can be said for him (heck even his overprotective, love of following the rules and regulations of Manjipour and shyness had made me fall in love with him. His quirks made him the man I fell in love with).

Even though my stubborness & slight defience on not wanting to learn my magic had made him exasperated at time but my sweetness, love of family and close friends, caring, sensitive and romantic side made his heart melt, beat fast and fall in love with me all over again.

He had also said that he loved me more then life itself and he was hoping and praying that since i loved him just as much, would I consider spending the rest of my life with him as his wife?. I was the typical girl; I couldn't see anything because my eyes were filling fast with tears at the most sweetest and romantic words being directed at me. Even though I had gotten pretty much sweet and romantic words since the day Kuru and I told the other of our true feelings, not that I am complaining.

I melted each time Kuru said or did something to show me how much he loves me with his words and actions. I, of course, threw myself into his arms, smothered his face with kisses and screamed "YES!". I practically yelled into mum's ear the wonderful news over the phone which of course was greeted with screams of pure joy and excitment at me marrying my dream man.

The next year went by super fast, faster then a speed of light. But I enjoyed each moment of planning the small, intimate (only family and close friends including Anala was invited) wedding that was going to be officiated by the priest of the church that my parents went to. Everytime I glanced down at the simple silver band, in Manjipour they don't know about engagement rings but I don't care, I couldn;t help but smile really big and dream about what kind of happily ever after life Kuru and I would have.

There was no way I was going to tell anyone in Manjipour about the wedding cause I knew they would try to sabatogue the wedding in anyway they could. No one was going to ruin my wedding, I wanted the perfect wedding for Kuru and me before the reality of no one in Manjipour from the elders to the citzens not accepting our marriage let alone love came to fruition.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. It was a sunny day with birds singing sweetly and the scent of fresh flowers was in the air. My very own Prince Charming looked very handsome in his white dress shirt and black pants with the million dollar smile I love on his face that matched mine I am sure. The wedding vows part was a blur cause I was too focused on not bawling my eyes out as I read my own from the heart vows and heard the beautiful ones Kuru wrote for me.

Soon Kuru and I were husband and wife and our reception was simple but too full of love and laughter not to be considered fun. My Kuru still couldn't dance, no matter how many lessons I gave him but I did enjoy staring deeply into his eyes while making sure there was no space between us.

Our first dance was magical, it was like the Earth stopped moving, time stopped and it was just Kuru and I in our own world, our own love bubble where we just stared deeply into each other's eyes and our smiles ate up our faces, that was how happy we were. And evertime we kissed from the day we announced our feelings to the day he left this world, I felt sparks and like it was our first kiss all over again.

As predicted the Elders and citizens weren't too happy to hear that Kuru and I had gotten married and showed us with not giving Kuru the respect and honor that he deserved as their new King. The citzens were always undermining our rules and regulations, which I thought were fair to everyone no matter the social standing, and giving us snide remarks behind our backs.

The Elders were no better. They actually tried to convince me that I only married Kuru to make them mad and teach them to change their life-long customs and morals not because I was head over heels in love with him. Also I was told that it was ok to take another more suitable lover so to produce children that had 100% royal blood. Um nope, Kuru is the only guy I will ever consider being intimate and have children with.

So they always sent him on errrands for the "good" of the kingdom which would have him away for days on end, I missed him so much when he was gone like a part of me was gone and even the workload I had each day didn't loosen that sadness. When he returned he got lots of hugs, kisses and "welcome home" from me.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was beyond estatic. I had always wanted to be a mother and now I finally had the chance to be one. I knew that Kuru would be the best daddy ever, sweet, caring,loving, not afraid to get to a child's level to play and learn,strict when he needed to be but our child would always have his support and love no matter what they did.

Kuru was beyond thrilled about the baby, this child would be the biological link he desperately wanted since he had no biological family plus like he told me in his sweet and romantic self that he hoped that our baby would be just like me, quirks and looks, cause to him, I was the epitome of perfect, awww that is so sweet.

Although to me, I hoped our little one looks and was like him cause having another version of Kuru would be the best thing ever; I wanted to be able to look deep into the child's eyes and see my love in them. Of course, our family and friends were estatic about the newest little addition.

Of course the Elders weren't too thrilled but I guess they decided that at least there was a new ruler that they could mold into their image and be the "perfect" ruler cause apparently i was suppose to give my child to be raised by a nanny since i would have more important things to worry about. Um no I wanted to be a full time hands on mommy to my angel. Kuru and I would be the only ones raising this child.

I loved being pregnant, knowing that the love of my life and me had created life through our love. I didn't mind the weight gain or the major nausea I went through as long as at the end of the day I had Kuru reading and talking to our unborn child even before the baby had ears or even just sat there with his hand on my stomach rubbing it. It was a real family moment and I treasured every one of them.

Kuru had been sent on another errand when I was 6 months but this time he never came back. It turned out that the village Kuru was sent to was quarantined by a highly infectious life threatening disease that was guranteed to kill someone painfully and quickly. Kuru died 2 months later and even though I never saw his body, I heard he died a painful death. My poor baby.

I had to do the rest of my pregnancy alone wishing Kuru was there to see how our child grew and developed. I ended up delievering early without anyone around me and it was one of the most painful experiences ever but looking deep into my baby's black like eyes and knowing that this little angel was mine made the pain bearable and I forgot about it.

So now I am without a husband but have a constant reminder of him; our daughter Lyra Anala who looks so much like him; the coloring of the skin, eyes and hair color as well as his calm, mellow, observant and only "talks" or cries when needs something personality. I hope I can raise Lyra to be just like her daddy or the best version of herself and of course never let her forget her daddy who would have loved to be here with us. Now to ditch these high and mightly Elders and make our kingdom our way.

Alex and Princess Lyra


End file.
